Have not had time to write this week so I think I will write a summary.
As mentioned, Friday was a good day, as was the weekend, just got paid, social services opened their arms and the new lady made me feel alive again. Monday came and so did our urgent meeting with the social services, as my son’s therapist had written a ‘letter of concern’ to them. We also had called to explain the chain of events up to this point. They sat and listened, shocked at what they were hearing. We explained how my ex had no money to pay her rent and no food, that my son was feeling down and depressed, that the tax office was throwing everything they could at us, that Kronofogden was taking the shirts from our backs. They listened and listened and with great concern the case worker said at the end that she had to take this case to her seniors as it was rather complex and was not sure how to go forward. She said she would get back to us with recommendations and will do so as quickly as possible.
True to her word she called back with a very direct and brief message ‘sorry, there is nothing we can do for you, the case is too complex and involves too many government sections? Lost for words…
This was a kick in the groin for us both with nowhere else to turn. My ex had to get money from her new guy to pay her rent in the end as they will not give her benefits as we are still married, and I earn too much, and she has no other source of income at this time. However, what they fail to recognise is that I am given existential minimum and as we are still technically married, I must pay for her. I do not understand why I got married or why anyone does. Ever since the day I married was the point everything went wrong, very wrong. We have two separate apartments; the government takes half my money and then expects me to pay for everyone. Where is the logic? Not forgetting two children, a dog, and a cat.
Its 3 weeks till pay day and I have 1500 SEK to see me through and no presents bought yet. Now I am really starting to understand what so many people go through. Food banks here I come. My face is pounding on both sides, one from a boil on my gum that just won’t go away and the other a broken bridge both of which I cannot afford to fix as still owe the dentist from the last emergency. Mounting pressure at work and spent the day speaking to Kronofogden about trying to resolve the 1 mill SEK debt after paying more thanks five and a half million. Feel thoroughly frazzled.
Just to finish off my Friday night, which I have worked through, I receive a message from accounts stating a contract I did was 10k usd short, can’t wait for Monday and the coming storm. Of all the accounts to get wrong not this one, difficult customer, difficult account director and fuck I don’t need the heat from above, not now. I am beyond fragile.
Was meant to go to Yoga tomorrow though 09:30 start but working after midnight, just cannot get up for that, need sleep, need to curl up like a foetus and climb back into the womb. So very, very tired and feeling physically sick. Today I feel older, injured and worn out.
I must continue no matter what. I will speak with a new lawyer on Monday and see again, how we can go forward. Never give up. For the children, for them, always them.
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